She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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