gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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