my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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