Will you blow on my dice?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Duck Duck Cougar?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
