# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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