I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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