Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
