Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Farmville is her only friend.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
