That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
