Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
