when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
