you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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