i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
is it fun? or sober?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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