Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
