Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We left the knife in your bed.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
