You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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