He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
