I just threw up on my dentist
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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