I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
