i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
it glows. i had to have it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
