eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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