I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
