I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
so much tequila, so little girl.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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