i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
