nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You ate ashes out of my bong
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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