If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My vagina is officially offended.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
