If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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