i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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