She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
