At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
