Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I understand Curling. That high.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Green mimosas i think yes
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
