The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
