how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
