he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
