In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
