I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
