That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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