Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
