Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
