im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
