Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
