At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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