guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
