she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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