She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
