shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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