Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
