I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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