Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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