i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
