No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
